So, you have a book boyfriend.

Maybe several. Maybe an entire roster. Maybe you’ve accidentally compared real-life love interests to fictional men and found them lacking.

Well.

I have good news and bad news.

The good news: Your taste is excellent.
The bad news: Your taste is also exposing your deepest psychological wounds, attachment issues, and emotional weaknesses.

Am I a therapist? No.
Am I about to analyze you like one anyway? Yes.

Let’s begin.

 1. MR. DARCY (Pride & Prejudice) — The Emotionally Constipated Aristocrat

AKA: “If He’s Not Cold and Repressed, I Don’t Want Him”

What This Says About You:
✔️ You are attracted to emotionally unavailable men.
✔️ You believe that love should be earned, not freely given.
✔️ You crave validation from someone who initially disapproves of you.
✔️ If a man isn’t aloof and brooding, you are immediately uninterested.

Your Psychological Breakdown:
You see affection as something that must be won. You don’t trust easy love—you want to be chosen, despite all odds. You likely have a history of being misunderstood and crave someone who will quietly adore you from afar before confessing in a grand, tortured declaration.

Your Deepest Fear:
😱 That love without struggle isn’t real.

 2. KAZ BREKKER (Six of Crows) — The Morally Grey Criminal Mastermind

AKA: “He Has Trust Issues and a Knife, So Obviously I Love Him”

What This Says About You:
✔️ You believe that love should be earned through immense suffering.
✔️ You see vulnerability as something precious, because it is rarely given.
✔️ You don’t want just romance—you want devotion, loyalty, and a touch of crime.
✔️ You believe that "fixing" someone is the highest form of love.

Your Psychological Breakdown:
You equate love with survival. You don’t trust easy love; you want someone who chooses you despite every instinct telling them not to. You may struggle with trust issues yourself and believe that the ultimate form of romance is being the only person someone lets their guard down for.

Your Deepest Fear:
😱 That if love isn’t hard-won, it isn’t worth anything.

 3. JAY GATSBY (The Great Gatsby) — The Tragic Romantic Dreamer

AKA: “I Love Men Who Are Obsessed With an Idealized Version of Love”

What This Says About You:
✔️ You believe in grand gestures.
✔️ You are deeply nostalgic and romanticize the past.
✔️ You crave the unattainable.
✔️ You have an unshakable belief that love can fix everything, even when all evidence suggests otherwise.

Your Psychological Breakdown:
You likely have a habit of falling in love with potential rather than reality. You romanticize what could have been and struggle to accept that some things (and people) were never meant to be yours. You believe in second chances, even when they shouldn’t be given.

Your Deepest Fear:
😱 That you will never be loved the way you love.

4. RHYSAND (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — The Overpowered Fae Boyfriend

AKA: “I Want a Man Who Worships Me, but Also Could Kill Me”

What This Says About You:
✔️ You want unconditional devotion.
✔️ You love the idea of a powerful man who only softens for you.
✔️ You have a thing for wings, and you should unpack that.
✔️ You don’t want equality in a relationship—you want to be adored.

Your Psychological Breakdown:
You crave safety, but also danger. You want a partner who is terrifying to everyone but gentle to you. You likely struggle with self-worth and need constant reassurance that you are special, chosen, and irreplaceable.

Your Deepest Fear:
😱 That you are ordinary. 

5. GERALT OF RIVIA (The Witcher) — The Grumpy, Emotionally Repressed Warrior

AKA: “He Only Says Three Words, and I Love Him for It”

What This Says About You:
✔️ You think actions speak louder than words.
✔️ You love a reluctant hero.
✔️ You believe deep down, every gruff and unfeeling man is actually soft inside.
✔️ You want to be the exception.

Your Psychological Breakdown:
You don’t trust words—only actions. You fall for people who won’t express their emotions, but you believe they feel them deeply. You crave quiet loyalty, devotion without declarations, love that is shown rather than spoken.

Your Deepest Fear:
😱 That words are empty, and love is temporary.

 6. DARIUS THE GREAT (Darius the Great Is Not Okay) — The Soft, Anxious Boyfriend

AKA: “I Want a Kind, Overthinking Cinnamon Roll”

What This Says About You:
✔️ You believe vulnerability is the sexiest thing ever.
✔️ You want softness, safety, and deep emotional connection.
✔️ You love a man who is emotionally intelligent and can communicate.
✔️ You have no patience for brooding nonsense.

Your Psychological Breakdown:
You believe love should be gentle. You want to be seen, deeply understood, and cared for. You may have been hurt by emotionally unavailable people in the past, and now you only want someone who will love you openly.

Your Deepest Fear:
😱 That love is always conditional.

7. HEATHCLIFF (Wuthering Heights) — The Walking Red Flag

AKA: “I Love Toxic, Chaotic, Unhinged Men”

What This Says About You:
✔️ You believe love should be all-consuming.
✔️ You are emotionally dramatic and proud of it.
✔️ You love destruction, passion, and screaming in the rain.
✔️ You think love should hurt.

Your Psychological Breakdown:
You may have a tendency toward codependency. You believe pain is proof of love, and you crave deep, overwhelming devotion—even if it destroys you both.

Your Deepest Fear:
😱 That love without suffering isn’t real.

Are You Okay? (No, the Answer Is No.)

🔥 Did you just get psychoanalyzed by your book boyfriend?
🔥 Are you feeling called out?
🔥 Do you need to rethink every romantic choice you’ve ever made?

Tell me in the comments.