Letās be honestābook lovers say some truly alarming things. In the right context? Perfectly normal. Out of context? We sound like deranged criminals, emotionally unstable wrecks, or possibly members of a cult.
If youāve ever caught yourself saying one of these sentences in public and realized too late how deeply unsettling it soundedācongrats, you are one of us.
šŖ 1. "I just love morally gray men."
Translation: I am deeply attracted to fictional characters who have committed war crimes but are also really hot and occasionally kind.
How it sounds to non-readers: I exclusively date criminals.
š 2. "That book absolutely destroyed me."
Translation: This novel emotionally shattered me. I will never recover. Five stars.
How it sounds to non-readers: I was physically assaulted by a paperback copy of Pride & Prejudice.
šµ 3. "Iām in love with a fictional man."
Translation: This character is my emotional support person and no real human will ever compare.
How it sounds to non-readers: I am deeply and romantically involved with someone who does not exist.
š 4. "I need therapy after that ending."
Translation: The author ripped out my soul, stomped on it, and set it on fire.
How it sounds to non-readers: A paperback is responsible for my mental breakdown.
š©ø 5. "I would sell my soul for a sequel."
Translation: I need closure, and I will commit fictional crimes to get it.
How it sounds to non-readers: I am actively engaging in occult practices to manifest a book deal.
šŖ 6. "That villain could stab me and Iād say thank you."
Translation: Listen, theyāre hot, theyāre powerful, and I have issues.
How it sounds to non-readers: I am concerningly okay with getting violently attacked.
šÆļø 7. "Iām in mourning."
Translation: A character I love has tragically died, and I will never know peace again.
How it sounds to non-readers: A real person I know has passed, and I am grieving. Please send condolences.
š 8. "I will never recover from that plot twist."
Translation: That author betrayed me on a spiritual level.
How it sounds to non-readers: I experienced something life-threatening and will need years of emotional support to cope.
š©· 9. "I love pain."
Translation: I willingly read emotionally devastating books and thrive in the heartbreak.
How it sounds to non-readers: I should be on a government watchlist.
šŖ 10. "I need to murder the author."
Translation: I will be sending them a strongly worded email about how their book emotionally ruined me.
How it sounds to non-readers:Ā A crime is about to be committed, and I am the prime suspect.
š§³ 11. "I just moved into my new home."
Translation: I found a perfect new bookstore and will be spending every waking moment there.
How it sounds to non-readers: I have just bought a new house.Ā
š 12. "I need to annotate this."
Translation: I must highlight, underline, and write my emotionally unstable thoughts in the margins.
How it sounds to non-readers: I have a strong and inexplicable urge to vandalize this book.
š 13. "I ship them so hard."
Translation: These two characters belong together, and I will accept no other reality.
How it sounds to non-readers: I work for UPS.
š« 14. "That book was actual torture, and I loved every second of it."
Translation: I voluntarily read something that emotionally destroyed me and I would do it again.
How it sounds to non-readers: I have very specific and very concerning hobbies.
š³ļø 15. "I would die for this character."
Translation: I love them so much that my existence is secondary to their happiness.
How it sounds to non-readers: I am prepared to sacrifice my actual life for a fictional person.
So, Are You Guilty of Saying These?
If youāve said at least five of these out loud, welcome to the club. Weāve been expecting you.
If youāve said all fifteenā¦ well. Youāre home now.
š Join the BookShook Email List ā Because you belong in a community of unhinged book lovers.Ā
š¢ Did we miss one? Drop your own deeply concerning bookish quote in the comments or tag us with #BookShook on social media!
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