BookShook (adj.)
/ˈbʊk-ʃʊk/
1. The state of being emotionally wrecked by fiction in any and all forms.
📖 Symptoms include: excessive joy, soul-crushing sorrow, uncontrollable rage, irrational attachment to fictional characters, and the inability to function in society after finishing a book.
2. The condition of experiencing emotions too intensely due to literature.
📖 Side effects may include:
✔️ Screaming at plot twists in public.
✔️ Mourning fictional deaths as if they were personal losses.
✔️ Laughing out loud alone in a room because a character made a joke.
✔️ Falling in love with someone who does not exist.
✔️ Experiencing actual betrayal when an author pulls a “they were dead all along” stunt.
3. The inability to "just move on" from a book.
📖 Common phrases used by those afflicted:
✔️ “I am never emotionally recovering from this.”
✔️ “It’s been years, and I still think about that ending.”
✔️ “I need a moment. Or a decade.”
✔️ “It’s just a book.” (Incorrect. Arrest them.)
4. A literary affliction with no known cure.
📖 Temporary relief methods:
✔️ Rereading the book that destroyed you. (Dangerous. May result in deeper suffering.)
✔️ Yelling into the void (or Twitter).
✔️ Writing fanfiction to undo the pain.
✔️ Buying candles, tea, and emotional support merch to “cope.”
✔️ Forcing a friend to read it so you can suffer together.
5. A badge of honor for those who love stories too much.
📖 Example: "I finished that book last night, and now I am utterly BookShook. Send help. Or sequels.”
See also: fictional grief, book hangover, emotional devastation, literary obsession.
DEBILITATING STAGES OF BEING BOOKSHOOK
🔥 THE 5 STAGES OF BEING BOOKSHOOK 🔥
1. SHOCK: Did that really just happen? (Yes. And it will haunt you forever.)
2. DENIAL: No. Nope. That did not just happen. (It did. You are screaming.)
3. ANGER: How dare this author personally attack me. (They do not know you exist. But they hurt you anyway.)
4. BARGAINING: Maybe if I reread it, the pain won’t be as bad. (Wrong. It will be worse.)
5. ACCEPTANCE: This book owns me now. (There is no going back.)
How To Cure BookShookishness
📖 WARNING: These are NOT real cures. In fact, they will make everything WORSE:
✔️ Rereading the book: Do you like pain?
✔️ Buying the special edition: *Oh good, now you own it in gold-foiled devastation.
✔️ Watching the movie adaptation: If it’s bad, you’ll scream. If it’s good, you’ll scream harder.
✔️ Forcing a friend to read it: So they can validate your suffering in real time.
📢 ARE YOU TRULY BOOKSHOOK?
🚨 You have two choices:
1️⃣ Ignore this, pretend you're normal, and suffer alone.
2️⃣ Join BookShook, where we scream, sob, and spiral TOGETHER.
📖 Choose wisely.
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